ashleyd /

Virtual Coffee Date – July 2018

Virtual Coffee Date

Happy Thursday! I hope you’ll sit down and refill that cup of coffee or glass of wine, depending on the hour, as it is time for a virtual date. A lot has transpired since our last date together.  Even though I am smack in the middle of a whirlwind work week before we head out on vacation, I’m in a far better place than I was a few months ago. Life continues to speed by faster than ever, but I find myself waking up smiling and going to bed feeling content I have a lot to share with you all today, so here goes.

If we were sitting together today, I would tell you that the baby weight is finally gone. As of this morning, I weight exactly what I weighed in August of 2016. My mom and so many other wise friends and women always told me that it took nine to ten months to put on the weight, so it will take at least that long to take off the weight. They were right! It took almost thirteen months but I am proud that I didn’t drive myself crazy. I didn’t obsess over numbers on the scale or the size on a clothing tag. My body shape is not the same as it was before, since I now am the proud of owner of hips and a few more curves.

If we were sitting together today, I would tell you that I am really enjoying my workout routine these days. For the past month I’ve been doing Pilates 2-3 times per week, running 3-4 times per week and walking everywhere. Once maternity leave was over, I suddenly started sitting more than ever before. I wasn’t walking or commuting into the city for workouts or trekking all over to meet friends or run errands. Instead, I was walking a 1/3 of a mile to the nanny share and back each day. I’ve increased my average step count each week since this realization from around 5,000 to 9,000. On weekdays, when I’m working from home, I’m taking 20 minutes during the day, typically during a conference call that doesn’t require a computer, to walk outside. I’m also taking the “long” way to nanny share and home each day with Katie. I’ve come to enjoy this time together as we have a very one-sided conversation about the day, the weather and everything we are passing along the way.

If we were sitting together today, I would tell you that I am so proud of my dear friend Theodora. I have learned so much over the past year, as I’ve watched her go through the grief process following her mother’s death. I am a far better friend now than I was two years ago, due in part to the things I’ve learned from her as I’ve done my best to support her through this difficult time. The other night, during a tough moment, she told me how sad she is for her friends who will go through the grief process at one point when they lose their mother or another loved one. As someone who still has both her parents, this of course struck a chord. Needless to say, I’m making a more conscious effort to connect with my loved ones via phone and in person. I’m thankful that this year we’ve chosen to use most of our vacation time to be with family. Next week we are heading to Avalon, New Jersey for a week of beach and sunshine with Bo’s parents and cousins and then in August we’ll be down in Savannah for 10 days. I’m going to focus on enjoying the moment and creating memories during each of these trips. (You can read more about Theodora’s journey in this Women’s Health article.)

If we were sitting together today, I would tell you I love the new Question feature in Instagram. It’s been so fun to respond to the questions people have on topics ranging from weight loss to baby schedules. It reminds me of back in the day when people used to leave a ton of comments on blog posts.  I love how easy Instagram made it for friends and followers to ask questions and it will hopefully decrease the DM which tend to get easily lost.

If we were sitting together today, I would tell you that I’m so excited to head upstairs in a few minutes. I’ve fallen out of the habit of reading before bed but am focused on getting back in the habit. I find that I sleep better when I spend 20 or 30 minutes relaxing in bed with a good book and putting away my phone. It gives my body and mind a chance to relax before going to sleep. Right now I’m reading two books – Educated and The Identicals. I’m having a hard time making it through some portions of Educated so find that I can enjoy it more when I read it every other night.  In a perfect world, I would get back to the evening routine that makes me happiest – apply relaxing hand cream, light a candle, read for 30 minutes, turn off the lights, and meditate for 3-5 minutes using Headspace.

If we were sitting together today, I would tell you that I celebrated feeling good about my body by buying new clothes to enjoy the rest of this summer and on our two upcoming vacations. I guess I’ve become accustomed to living a more streamlined, simplified life because after trying everything on, I decided to return quite a few items because I just didn’t “need” them.  I ended up keeping my favorite v-neck t-shirt in a bright red and athletic gray, these fun pull-on shorts , this easy, breezy t-shirt dress, these jean shorts, and these white jeans.  If you need summer clothes, JCrew has 30% off sale items and Jcrew Factory has up to 60% off!

If we were sitting together today, I would laugh about the fact that I’ve come to realize that some household chores drive me bonkers. Emptying the dishwasher and putting away folded clothes are always the last on my list. What is your least favorite household chore?  Every two to three weeks we have a maid cleaning lady come and do deep cleaning but in between, Bo and I do our best to keep the house looking and feeling nice. When the house is clean and organized, we are both much happier people. We typically use the spare bedroom as a “junk room” and then put things away during the weekend. Some people have junk drawers and we have a junk room. I’m not sure what that says about us but for now, it works. We typically have a small pile of folded clothes, things that need to be returned/exchanged and boxes we have to cut.

Photos: Anna Rachel Photograph

Share Button
Follow:
Share:
Comments Off on Virtual Coffee Date – July 2018
ashleyd /

Virtual Coffee Date – April 2018

Happy Thursday! I hope you’ll sit down and refill that cup of coffee or glass of wine, depending on the hour, as it is time for a virtual date. A lot has transpired since our last date together.  In fact, I feel as if the past few months have been a whirlwind and a blur, leaving me a bit exhausted but very happy.  Until recently, I don’t think I fully appreciated just how much has changed in my life over the past year.  I have a lot to share with you all today, so here goes.

If we were sitting together today, I have not been taking charge of my health and am finally changing that. I have a list of six appointments I’ve been meaning to make such as dentist, follow-up blood work and more that just haven’t been prioritized.  I’ve learned from so many people around me the benefit of preventative care versus reactive and therefore finally took ten minutes today to call the different offices and schedule the appointments. I also found myself drinking a few artificially flavored drinks this week during busy, retailer meetings and paid the price with a massive headache later. Regardless of how busy life gets, I need to remember how great I feel when I put my health first.

If we were sitting together today, I would tell you that I am so thrilled spring has finally arrived in New York City. Even though I love snow and cold weather after growing up in the humidity and heat of Savannah, this year’s never-ending winter weather almost did me in.  This week, during a rainy and blustery day, I vowed that it would be the last time I wear a turtleneck and tights this year. I am so hopeful that we’ll have a chance to enjoy true spring weather before the heat and humidity of summer in the city arrives.

If we were sitting together today, I would laugh and tell you how surprised I am that I’ve found myself using a Keurig a few mornings per week. As background, my parents have been using a Keurig machine at home for years but I’ve never cared for the flavor as much as I enjoy the rich coffee that freshly grinding my beans each morning produces. We’ve gone back and forth between using a Chemex and a automatic coffee pot but, this week, when I mornings were especially rushed, I appreciated the convenience of the Keurig. My next order of business is finding a more robust k-cup flavor because the pack my parents bought is mild and that, my friends, just won’t cut it. Any recommendations?

If we were sitting together today, I would tell you how excited I am to head down to Savannah for a week in May. As you all know, we love spending time outside so a week of introducing Katie to the beach, pool and boating adventures sounds like a perfect way to enjoy a few days off work and time with my brother, his fiance and both sets of grandparents. It will be a very different trip since Katie will be 11-months old so I’m excited to experience her joy and reaction to the new sites, sounds and feels in Savannah.

If we were sitting together today, I would gush about the family pictures we took during a mini-photo session with Michelle last weekend. Before Katie, I never fully appreciated the value of a photographer who specializes in children and families. But now, after seeing the magic that she can create for our family of 3, even during teething tantrums, I recommend that every family invest in professional photos. While Bo and I do our best to capture multiple moments each day with Katie, it’s rare that we are in the picture. Her constant movement makes keeping the picture in focus even more challenging. This is our second time shooting with Michelle and we were so much more comfortable this time as we knew her shooting style and she knew our personalities as well as Katie’s. The picture below was captured while she and Bo were using Katie’s two favorite puppets in hopes of sneaking a smile out of Katie. While I don’t have the final edits to share with you all yet, here is a sneak peak at one of our favorites from the shoot.

If we were sitting together today, I would tell you that I am going to experiment with blogging more frequently, but casually, over the next month. I truly miss sharing my life on this platform and cringed when I realized I’ve only posted five times during April. I believe that over the past year I’ve started limiting my blog reading to only a handful of blogs, many of which are written by full-time bloggers. Therefore the level of content they can deliver intimidates me and often keeps me from opening my computer or pushing publish. In fact, I have four half-written draft posts based on requests that readers have sent me that haven’t been finished because I was brainstorming ways to create Pinterest graphics, edit photos or even shoot images. Over the past year I have focused on living a life that is rooted in the principles and lessons shared in the book Present Over Perfect, so why shouldn’t I bring those same practices to my blog?

If we were sitting together today, I would tell you that I finally ordered a swimsuit for the summer and the decision was 100% influenced by influencer marketing. I have seen so many posts and advertisements for Summersalt’s Sidestroke one-piece swimsuit that I figured what the heck – if they love it maybe I will too! Elle Magazine even awarded it #1 most-flattering one shoulder style swimsuit so it can’t be all bad, right? I ordered the suit in three color style combinations (lava, seaweed, and deep sea) and am hoping to keep my favorite and quickly return the others.

Top photo credit: Alexis Damen Photography

 

Share Button
Follow:
ashleyd /

Virtual Coffee Date–Farewell Maternity Leave

 

coffee date

Hello! I apologize for the silence on the blog this week but it’s been a challenging one on this end. Between some early teething, adverse reaction to her four month shots, and my computer getting a virus it has been a challenging few days. But, the good news is that, as everyone says, this is all a phase and this morning all three of us woke up feeling much better. It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep can do especially when sunshine and cooler weather greets you when you wake up! While I am still trying to access the Nursery Tour blog post I put together yesterday before my computer went crazy due to a virus, I though today would be the perfect opportunity to check in with you guys and share some thoughts during a virtual coffee date. I have a lot on my mind and while I’ve shared some of it via Instagram Stories, I know that not everyone uses that platform.

So, refill your coffee mug and join me for a virtual coffee date.

  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you how thankful I am that my company allowed me to enjoy 4.5 months of maternity leave. This time with Katie, our first child, has been so special and I can’t imagine going back a day sooner.  My maternity leave was 4 months paid followed by vacation and some unpaid leave. We have created so many memories together during this time and really found a great groove. Whether it’s enjoying fresh air during a park workout or reading books together on the nursery rug, it is a time that I know I will always treasure.
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you how thankful I am that we found a child care option that works for us. Katie will be joining a nanny share next week and we think it is the best of both worlds. The family where the share is hosted lives just a few minutes away from us and their two boys, ages 1 and 3, will be such wonderful influences on Katie both emotionally and developmentally. A nanny share will help her learn socialization and things like sharing, while the small number will allow the nanny to also give her the attention that we want at this young age. Our nanny is originally from Germany but has been working in New York for 12 years as a nanny.  I know it will be a transition and adjustment for all three of us but we are hopeful that it works well. I will keep you guys posted as we learn our way through the transition.
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you that as nervous as I am to transition into a working mom, I am excited for the challenge.  I grew up in a family with a working mom and always thought she handled life’s challenges with such grace especially the way she managed her schedule to be a mom for us and also a full-time nurse. Bo and I had a long conversation about our hopes and expectations which helped during my initial conversation with my manager. Personally, we are going to do our best to be 100% focused on Katie during our morning and evening time with her versus trying to multitask. I have also asked to minimize work travel, when possible, to no more than two nights away at a time. While this won’t always be realistic, I’m thankful that my manager is supportive. I know that my role will stretch and challenge me, especially these first few months and I hope that the challenge will help me keep my mind off of Katie and the hours fly by. But, I have asked that our nanny send me at least a few pictures each day so I get my daily dose of Katie smiles.
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you that I am very thankful for the book The Fifth Trimester.  When I opened up on Instagram stories last week about my anxiety around returning to work many of you recommended that I get this book and I can’t thank you enough! It has been so helpful in framing the realities of this period of transition while also giving me the confidence to know that I can do it! Each chapter I find myself nodding my ahead in agreement and taking notes, whether the author is discussing ways to get ready faster or tips for sharing your goals and expectations with your manager post-baby. If you are a working parent or manage parents, I highly recommend you read this book as it is such helpful perspective.
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you that I now understand why mom mom always said that she doesn’t know much of the music from the 80’s. These days Bo and I know the words to almost every classic Disney song and nursery rhyme but rarely listen to new, hit music. In fact, the only time I listen to recent hits is during my runs. What songs are you loving right now that I should add to my Spotify playlist? Or, do you have a favorite Spotify playlist?
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you that Bo and I are going on our first date this weekend since having Katie! Luckily, a good friend of ours offered to babysit Katie a few times a month. Since this will be our first time leaving her we are going to go out somewhere in the neighborhood after she goes sleep. I’m thankful for good friends and plenty of neighborhood spots for a dinner and drink date night within a few blocks.
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you that getting dressed is hilarious these days. I’m totally in between sizes and at this point I think I’m going to wait a few more weeks before buying anything else. I have some great, new Fall accessories like booties and necklaces that will help me put together a few different looks with the basics I’ve purchased. Unfortunately, as many people predicted, one of the blouses I bought three weeks ago is already too big since my 36C boobs have reverted back to 36A. I’m so ready for cooler weather so I can wear leggings, tall boots and sweaters since that is so much easier to wear when I’m at a transitional size. Getting dressed these days presents many of the same challenges I experienced a year ago when I was still trying to hide my pregnancy; I feel a little bit bloated in the mid-section.
  • If we were sipping coffee together today, I would tell you that I’m not sure what the future holds for this blog. Blogging has brought me so much joy over the past eight years and I can’t imagine giving it up altogether. However, creating content takes time and right now I want to spend every spare moment with Katie. Sure, I could blog late at night or early in the morning but those are times that I’d like to reserve for workouts and relaxing with Bo. Don’t interpret this as a farewell, more like a request for some grace and understanding as I navigate the next few months. Since Friday Favorites tend to be the most popular posts of the week, my initial goal is to blog at least two times per week, Monday and Friday, while still sharing content daily on Instagram.                

Okay friends, it’s time for cuddles and playtime with Katie so I’ll talk with you guys more later! Have a wonderful rest of your day and thanks for joining me for this coffee date today!

Share Button
Follow: