I’ve drafted three different posts over the past week to talk about my running emotions. Each time I’ve made it about half way through the draft and then closed my computer out of frustration. I found that each post was filled with negative thoughts and energy, something I never want to pass on to my readers. It’s one things to share my emotions, whether they are positive or negative, but it’s another to pass on an unproductive, negative energy.

Instead of publishing or finishing these posts I spent my time talking with people instead. During our run on Saturday I voiced my marathon concerns to Bo. Via email I’ve talked with Theodora, Melissa Z and Gia about the negative mind games and frustrations I’m feeling and experiencing recently. Each person shared a different perspective with me which I feel has left me in a far different position and mindset today than I was just a few days ago.

Let me briefly summarize for you the thoughts I shared with each of these women.

• Over the past 3 weeks any run beyond four miles has felt like work.
• Running alone is not fun, regardless how gorgeous the scenery is.
• My body, primarily back and shoulders, are very sore due to my temporary bed in Geneva. The mattress is the hardest and most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever laid on for an extended period of time.
• I haven’t run further than 9 miles in more than a month.
• My marathon is 10 weeks and 4 days from today.

Last week was the worst week of training I’ve experienced mentally in years. Every run felt like work. My back and shoulders were in so much pain that it hurt to run even five miles.

Instead of enjoying the gorgeous sunrise, cool temperatures and beautiful scenery my mind filled with doubt and anxiety during each run. I would spend almost the entire run calculating the number of weeks until my marathon and trying to figure out whether going from 8 miles to 26 was even possible.

I drafted an email to my best friend Amy, who is running the marathon with me as her first, explaining that I needed to drop down to the half marathon. I thought about the post I would write to share the news with readers.

Then, during our run together on Saturday, Bo provided me with some much needed advice that changed things.

Give my body and mind two weeks of positive thoughts, nutrition, sleep, support, and workouts before making a marathon decision.

I immediately asked Gia to review my training and put together a plan for the week. Bo and I spent time dreaming of great long run routes for this week’s long run in London. I made a new playlist filled with a variety of music. I downloaded some Jillian Michael podcasts based on recommendations from Theodora and Melissa Z. I spent time thinking about what I loved most about running in New York City. Last but not least, I found another Geneva running buddy. As if someone was listening to all my fears, a fellow runner moved to Geneva on Friday and emailed me to see if I’d be interested in running together. She went to high school with Meghann’s husband and this morning we enjoyed a great run together, talking the entire time. Wouldn’t you know that these were the easiest 4.75 miles I’ve run in 3 weeks. Our pace was right on target and I even pushed myself all the way up the final hill towards my flat.

Sometimes, all that is needed is a change of attitude. I’ll check in after my long run this week to let you all know how things are going and whether the change in attitude and getting out of my own head helps.