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Reflections on 2016

 

Over the course of 2016, I shared 179 blog posts with you all and 309 Instagram posts.  Similar to last year, as I review the pictures and posts, I see gaps. Of course I expected to see the smiles and joy of Baby Girl Diamond in the top posts but there was so much else that transpired this year.

healthyhappier_best-9

What a year it has been. While many people are ready to forget 2016 existed, I will look back on this year as one of growth. In fact, if I had chosen a word or mantra for this year, that would be it.  Sometimes purposefully and other times subconsciously, much of this year was spent preparing ourselves for the next journey – parenthood. Much of this preparation wasn’t shared on social media or the blog as it isn’t the type of content that drives traffic, clicks or likes.

But for today, let’s focus on the things that are at the forefront of my mind when I look back on the year.

Based on the numbers, it is clear that travel and training took a place on the back burner.

Travel:

Races:

  • United Airlines NYC Half
  • Credit Union Cherry Blossom Ten Miler
  • Flying Pig Half Marathon
  • Oakley New York Mini 10k
  • Rock’n’Roll Brooklyn Half Marathon
  • Prospect Park Track Club 5 Miler

Instead, during 2016 Bo and I spent a great deal of this year growing as a couple and focusing on creating a home for ourselves in Brooklyn. We spent countless hours painting and decorating our apartment as well as renovating and landscaping our backyard.  We explored our new borough, spending weekends tasting, sipping and shopping through Williamsburg, Cobble Hill, Carroll Gardens, Park Slope and the other surrounding neighborhoods.

We spent time in Savannah celebrating the marriage of Meg and Russell and spending time with loved ones. We traveled to Canada together, enjoying time in nature and disconnecting from the stress of our jobs and daily life. We did our best to further develop those friendships that are most important to us, though there are a few friends who we haven’t spent nearly enough time with this year.

But, as the year comes to a close, I am most thankful for the growth we’ve seen in our relationship. Even though we’ve grown up together over the years, even the best relationships need some TLC every now and then. Thanks to improved communication, our marriage is stronger than ever. Over the past five months, Bo and I have had the opportunity to focus on our relationship during weekly couples therapy sessions. We didn’t start seeing a therapist because our marriage was in crisis or going through a rough patch. Instead, we knew that as we both worked through the change we faced this year, we weren’t communicating very well.  Though I haven’t discussed it on the blog previously, I wish we had started these sessions years ago. I have learned so much about myself, our relationship and marriage during these hour long sessions. Instead of dreading the sessions, we look forward to our weekly 15 minute walk, pre-therapy coffee date and then therapy session before work.

As we look forward to welcoming a daughter into our life in less than six months, this focus on GROWTH could not have come at a better time.

What do you think about when you reflect on your 2016? 

 

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The Holes and Gaps in my 2015 Best Nine

Top Nine

Like many others, I could review 2015 by sharing my thoughts in regards to each of my top nine Instagram posts from the year. Thanks to this website, lots of people have shared the images which received the most engagement during the previous twelve months.

But, as I look at these pictures, I see holes and gaps versus my thoughts on 2015.

  • All of these pictures were posted in the United States, which therefore overlooks the six months that we lived in Switzerland.
  • These pictures only include two of the cities we visited (NYC and Savannah), overlooking twenty-one cities and eight countries we visited including Russia, Italy, France, Scotland, Ireland, Spain, Switzerland and England.
  • These pictures only include three people other than me – my mom, Bo and Kristine. While those people were very important in 2015, there are countless friends across three countries (Switzerland, England, and US) who made 2015 the year it was. They supported us through tough times, celebrated the highs, introduced us to traditions and their countries, and helped us make incredible memories.
  • These pictures don’t show the puddles of tears that were shed this year. Bo and I have spent the past two days, during our staycation, doing a lot of talking. This year was a rough one mentally and emotionally. We coped with the difficulties of unemployment. We made hard decisions, without the support of a magic eight ball, showing us the way of our future. We spent time apart as he searched for a job and then started that job in New York City. We said goodbye to life in Europe a year before we intended, in order to build a life together in New York City. We took a risk and moved our apartment search to Brooklyn, versus the Manhattan we knew. We spent countless hours searching for an apartment that could feel more like a home, having to see many disappointing apartments before finding the one. We started new roles which each came with their own complexities, requiring our focus and time. I started managing people for the first time, in a role with Procter&Gamble which has quickly become my most fulfilling and gratifying role even after just six short months. We navigated finding our way back into the group of friends we left behind while living abroad while meeting new friends and trying our best to stay in touch with those abroad. We have been blessed to spend more time with both our families in the past six months than we did in the past three years. We have welcomed new members into our extended family, which in the process, has taught us a great deal. We have both said things and done things this year that we wish we could sugar coat or take back but at the end of the day, we are finishing the year stronger than we started and we’ve learned a lot about communication.
  • These pictures, while bright and vibrant, don’t show the way that I have evolved as a wife, friend, sister, daughter, blogger, employee and person. The events of this year have helped me better understand and appreciate those things that are personally a priority in my life. When that video was released about the Instagram husband, I had to laugh because that was definitely a role I tried to have Bo play in years past. But this year, as we tried to focus on strengthening and improving our relationship and those with others, we realized that social media can also cause a lot of issues. Therefore, I’ve worked to enjoy the moments with my own senses versus blocking them with a lens.
  • While I still love running and have many wonderful memories from races and the miles I logged this year, these pictures overlook the role that larger role fitness classes have played in my life since moving back to New York. Bo and I use this time together, each day from 6-7 AM, to start the day together in a healthy way. It is the time that we know we’ll have together each day, before the chaos and demands of work take over. Due to nagging injuries on his side, and the importance of cross training, we’ve spent more time in classes than on the road together. While we both hope that 2016 will find us running together again, we’ve both appreciated what we’ve gained from cross training and challenging our bodies in new ways.
  • These pictures overlook many of the incredible opportunities and memories I was provided due to this blog.  This year I shared my adventures in trying to live a healthy, happier life with you all through 187 posts. Originally started on New Years Day 2010, as I looked at pictures from the night before in disgust, I had no idea that the blog would play such a large role in my life for this many years. this blog has evolved in a multitude of ways.  But, similar to the way it helped me when I moved abroad, it also helped me when we moved home. Through the fitness community I have made new friends, had incredible experiences, and have continued to grow and deepen my path towards a balanced, healthy life.

As we look towards tomorrow, the fresh start of 2016, I am excited for what the year will bring. There will certainly be more travel, as we have already booked two trips for the year, to Tahoe and India. There will be many celebrations and festivities as we stand by Meg and Russell’s side for their 2016 wedding. Our parents will continue to play the role of friends and mentors, as we are able to share our home and city with them multiple times, including the two visits we gave to each of them for Christmas gifts. There will be gallons of sweat and hours spent working out together as this will continue to be the sacred time we enjoy together and my favorite form of socializing with friends. The blog will continue to take an even larger part in my life, as I’ve outlined goals for the year which I will share with you all next week.

Thank you for sharing in the journey and supporting us.

Love,

Ashley & Bo

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It’s Okay

Often times, many of us fill our personal calendar with far too many commitments. Whether it is an early morning workout class when we know our body needs sleep or a happy hour when we know our body has had more than enough wine. We feel the need to say yes to everything unless we have other plans.

In fact, at least once a week during our daily chats, my mom will recommend that I slow down.

Don’t you think you and Bo need a weekend with no plans?

Don’t you need an evening just to relax?

Do you really need to go to that event?

I often roll my eyes telling my mom that I’m just wired differently and love being around and with people, nurturing relationships and trying new things. Since moving back to New York City, I’ve immersed myself in the blogging and fitness community, a void I felt when living abroad.

just say no

But sometimes, even the most energized people need to take a pause and listen to our minds and bodies. 

Yesterday I found myself stressed and worried about the number of commitments I had on my calendar. After snoozing through my alarm three times, clearly a sign that my body needed sleep, I had the following on my calendar:

Don’t get me wrong; I am thankful to live in NYC and have so many opportunities and have a wonderful and supportive fitness community. But, the thought of rushing from Brooklyn at 5:30pm to head to Central Park and deal with the lines, warm temperatures and craziness of a large event such as the Lole White Yoga Party just wasn’t appealing. The runner happy hour sounded fun and would be a great chance to catch up with a lot of running buddies, but it unfortunately was also starting around 5:30.  While throwing together a quick lunch yesterday, I found myself stressing out while texting with Kristine and Bo. As luck would have it, they both advised me to analyze my commitments.

Do what will make you happiest.

It’s all about attitude. If you won’t be excited at any of the events then don’t do it. It’s worse to be partially present than not present at all.

Since I wasn’t going to leave any one person alone at either event, I wasn’t stressed about bailing at the last minute. My friends going to the yoga event would have each other and the 10,000 other yogis while the runners at happy hour would have plenty of other people with whom to enjoy the cold beers and lovely evening.

I took a few minutes to send emails to a few different people explaining that I was investing in me and doing what I felt my mind and body needed: a workout and a quiet, healthy outdoor dinner with Zoe.

Bar Method

bareburger

Even though the pictures from both events look wonderful, this morning I woke up smiling and feeling renewed. There was no sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) or regret.

say no stress free

It’s okay to say no sometimes. It’s okay to bail when you know it’s the best decision. It’s okay to take time just for yourself and do what you know will make your mind and body happy.

Your turn: Am I the only one who feels this way or do you fight with the need to say yes to everything? What are your tips? 

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