Five or six weeks ago, Bo and I both acknowledged that we needed to get ourselves out of a funk. We were living together, under the same roof, but not connecting in the way we normally do. I was busy with work and Bo was stressed out over his job search. We found ourselves living in autopilot mode, rarely taking time to invest time in each other or our friends and family.
Bo sat me down on the couch and presented me with a Business Insider article which then kicked off an hour long conversation. Since then, we’ve made a few small changes to help each other and those around us play more important roles in our lives. These changes have left us happier and more content going into the holiday season.
For the past three weeks, we’ve just picked up the phone. Sure, we love the ease and simplicity of texting, resulting in quick responses from friends and family. But, this article and a few others we’ve read lately, reminded us that texting doesn’t make us feel as engaged or connected to the person as talking on the phone or FaceTiming. Therefore, we’ve made an effort each week to work our way through our group of friends and family. We’re still trying to perfect the time zone difficulty, especially for those living on the West Coast, but this week alone we’ve spoken with both our siblings, both sets of parents, one aunt, and two friends. I’ve also started picking up the phone during my commute home each night. I used to be embarrassed to use the phone on the trams as it isn’t something the Swiss tend to do. But, I’d rather hear my mom’s voice and strengthen our relationship than worry about what the person next to me thinks.
In our own home, each night when I get home, we make a point to sit down on the couch together or spend a few minutes in the kitchen area with our glass of wine and talk about the day. It provides a perfect time to vent about the lows and celebrate the highs whether that is a big thing or a small, daily win. This time, which is sometimes five minutes, or like last night almost 30 minutes, has really helped us become better engaged as a support system. It helps us remember that we each need support during this time and that we are going through very different obstacles each day. This morning, Bo quietly wished me luck at the doctor, something he wouldn’t have even remembered or known about a few weeks ago. Knowing that we are each more in touch with the other’s life has strengthened our relationship and brought us together in the best way possible.
Instead of doing things separately, we’ve tried to make more of an effort to do them together. Typically, Bo will cook in the evening while I blog. I’ve made an effort to blog early in the morning so in the evenings I can get back in the kitchen with Bo, practicing skills and enjoying the time together. Now that he has a clean bill of health after his ACL surgery, Bo has started running with me 2-3 times per week. The 30 to 40 minutes we enjoy together, without the distraction of social media or other people, has provided time for some great conversations, travel planning and day dreaming. It’s a time that we have together that no one else can interrupt or hear. Sunday’s Instagram post perfectly portrays my emotions around this change!
Last but not least, we’ve made an effort to have more quality time with our friends. This Summer we found ourselves only seeing our friends in group, social situations or at bars. This made quality conversations virtually impossible. Over the past month we’ve enjoyed two double dates, one large Thanksgiving and a quiet festive evening at home with friends. The amount this more quality interaction has progressed our friendships is hard to believe. There are a few friends who we’ve known for over a year but just this month had time to enjoy long conversations together.
I hope you find even just one small change that you can make in your life through this post. It’s a bit more personal than the average post, but last night when trying to fall asleep, the post idea came to me so I had to share it with you all first thing this morning!
