Preparation for Parenthood

Image result for daylight savings

Wow guys. It has been a week. Unfortunately, it hasn’t been one of those amazing weeks. Intsead, it’s been a week that has made me wish I could just get a “do-over” or just put it to bed.  Since we landed on Monday at 7 AM, I’ve been in quite the funk.  Yesterday, when I woke up, I was growing especially frustrated with the bad mood. I actually felt as if I was in one of those cartoons with the storm cloud, or maybe snow cloud, hanging over my head.  Luckily, while I couldn’t necessarily put my finger on what was causing this feeling, fortunately, both Bo and my mom were quickly able to pinpoint a few reasons why I’m feeling especially stressed, grumpy and overall moody.

  • Day light savings
  • Jet lag
  • Post-vacation blues
  • Going from sunshine and 75 degrees to overcast and 20 degrees
  • Snow and ice that kept me inside for 36 hours
  • Losing power in our house yesterday at 10 AM

Even though I’d tried a few different tactics to improve my mood, early this morning I reached a breaking point.  Our power was STILL not on when we came home at 8pm so instead of cooking a delicious, healthy dinner we walked down the block and enjoyed a random Wednesday date night versus sitting at home in the dark.  Then, we had great preparation for life with a newborn as we were both up during the night working with the power company as they needed access to our basement. This morning when we both woke up, feeling like zombies, we laughed and said that waking up at 11:30, 1:30 and 4:30 basically replicated life with a newborn. Image result for new mom feels like zombie

 

I decided that three days of funk was enough and it was time to kick it to the curve. In typical Ashley fashion, I did some research, brainstormed and then put together an action plan to help turn things around today.

Started the morning with warm lemon water

  • Ate a healthy, protein and carb balanced breakfast
  • Took a 30-minute break to run errands which involved a sunshine-filled walk outside
  • Ate a healthy lunch that included a few of the items from this list of 11 foods to eat if you’re tired
  • Opened the shades at my desk to let in natural light
  • Scheduled an evening workout class
  • Prepared the ingredients for a healthy, dinner so we would have no excuses this evening

I’m not sure whether it’s a combination of all of the above, sharing my thoughts or the bright sun shining through my windows but I feel 100 times better right now than I did at 7:30 this morning.

I contemplated not sharing this with you guys because overall, it feels like I’m venting. But, I believe that it’s important to keep things real with you all across all my social platforms. Sunny, pretty pictures are nice but I don’t live a filtered life and never want to lead anyone to believe that everything is always sunshine and travel.

I have a lot to get done today as tomorrow I head to New Mexico for the annual Brooks Blogger Ambassador trip. I wasn’t able to make last Summer’s trip so am especially excited to meet some of the ambassadors for the first time, catch up with old friends and get inspired by the Brooks Beasts running team. We are spending Friday and Saturday in Albequerque at the Brooks Altitude Training Camp. While I don’t feel like quite the runner these days, thanks to my growing baby bump, I’m excited to enjoy warm weather and sunshine with the group as well as learn some things from the elites and their trainers.

I hope you guys are having a great Thursday! I’ll check in tomorrow from the plane to share this week’s Friday Favorites!

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A Warm Zika-Free Vacation Destination

Growing up, my mother always told the story of she and my father’s trip to Bermuda. It was my brother’s first trip as he was safe and sound in her womb while they enjoyed sunshine, gorgeous beaches and relaxation before growing from a couple to a family of three.  Due to stories like this one, Bo and I always dreamed of enjoying a relaxing, beach vacation together during pregnancy. We used to brainstorm where we’d go, dreaming of a return Anguilla, where went on honeymoon, or exploring one of the other islands. Unfortunately, the Zika virus derailed those plans and forced us to think differently about our babymoon, or vacation together before we become a family of three.

Zika Free Vacation Destination Muir Beach

Breathtaking views at Muir Beach

Since I am due in mid-June and my doctor preferred that I not travel after 30-weeks, our options were constrained due to the months of February and March, when much of the United States is experiencing cold, frigid winter weather.  We spent some time researching options, ensuring that our location would meet the following criteria:

  • Warmer than New York City
  • Provide options for both relaxing and active adventures
  • Zika free
  • Direct flights, if possible
  • Sunshine

After much research, we decided to plan a four night, five-day visit to the San Francisco bay area.  While I have visited San Francisco multiple times for both work and pleasure, I haven’t had the opportunity to explore the region and Bo had only visited San Francisco for a brief, 24-hour business trip.  Over the past month, we started to question our decision. Daily Facebook updates from friends showed cold, wet weather battering the area. Then, just a week before our departure, we had to scramble to change our plans due to the due to the collapse of the Pfeiffer Canyon Bridge and Big Sur closures.  When we arrived at the San Francisco airport last night, ready to board our red-eye flight back to New York City, we both said that this was one of the most wonderful vacations we’ve ever taken due in part to the agility we each had in the process and the faith that things would work out.

Zika Free Vacation Destination Cavallo Lodge

Morning views from Cavallo Point Lodge

While I am going to share in depth posts on each area, I wanted to share a brief itinerary for anyone who is trying to plan a Zika free babymoon or vacation.  Below you can find a glimpse of where we stayed and ate at in each location. The detailed posts coming this week will include more details such as the scenic drives, hikes, and reviews of the restaurants and lodging.

Zika Free Vacation Destination  Bernardus Spa

The spa pool at Bernardus Lodge

Zika Free Vacation Destination Carmel Valley

Wearing AG Maternity jeansLilly Pulitzer Elsa Silk BlouseJCrew Espadrille Wedges

San Francisco Bay Area (2 nights)

Carmel (1 night)

Carmel Valley (1 night)

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International Women’s Day

 

Good morning! Today we are going to change gears a bit. I had a post planned which shared some of my travel essentials that are packed in my carry-on bag and stowed above my head during today’s flight from New York to San Francisco.

mom rusty and ash

But then, as I read Grace’s post, I was inspired to share some thoughts with you all today in honor of International Women’s Day.   I am thankful for the strong women in my family who have shaped and inspired me for over 30 years. These four women are radically different from each other and therefore shaped and molded me in their own way.

    • Mom – My mother worked night shifts as a neonatal nurse in order to have more time with us while we were growing up. Even though she worked four, ten-hour shifts per week she made my brother and I her priority – never missing a chorus performance, awards ceremony or birthday. She proved that a working mother could also be engaged in her family. I realize now, as I grow older, just how much she sacrificed for us during these years as night shift can wreak havoc on one’s body. Her caring and nurturing heart, helped me develop a softer and more loving side when I needed it most.  She also taught me that with hard work, anything was possible.
    • My Aunts – Each of my three aunts, while very different and unique, impacted my childhood by helping me see the world and inspiring me to aspire for my dreams. My Aunt Rusty worked in one of the largest investment banks in New York City back in the 1980s when women were rarely seen in this environment. She stood up for her beliefs and rights as a female, exposing me to the trials and tribulations females faced in the professional world. Within our family, my Aunt Annamay is the woman who is impassioned to support those who were born with less. Years of teaching English as a second language in an Arizona border town has allowed her to share with me and my family the difficulties so many people face each day and remind us how much we have in our lives. My Aunt Linda inspired me with her passion for shaping children’s lives as a school principal.

I am not sure whether it is because of the recent press or the fact that I am currently carrying a tiny baby girl who will enter the world in June, but this year more than ever, women’s empowerment has been on my mind. I’ve had many discussions with friends, family, and co-workers about this topic over the past four months.  The wonderful thing about these discussions is that I have learned something from each of them. Living in New York City has provided me with the opportunity to become close with friends and colleagues who are very different than me.  I love that these differences mean that our views often do not align, nor do the way we share our views with the world. But, this difference in opinion, has also inspired me.

I shared, via an email with a relative recently, that I personally don’t believe that marches, boycotts and countless phone calls to government officials, is the only way to show support for today’s women.  I firmly believe that we can each take action in ways that are just as unique as each us. So while I may not have images of me at one of the many Women’s Marches on my social media feed, I thought today was a perfect day to share my thoughts on a few ways any woman can be a strong woman in today’s world while supporting others. 

working for it

Invest in the future by mentoring young women. This year I have made the decision to invest time mentoring women both personally and professionally. Through my alma mater, The University of Georgia, and my company, Procter & Gamble, I have had the opportunity to work with four incredible women as they forge their paths into the workforce.

Focus on supporting women versus competing with them. I learned a long time ago, that the comparison trap is an evil place to live. Regardless how hard you work to climb the professional ladder, how much you train or how many different filters you layer in Instagram; within moments someone will come along who is climbs faster, gets results faster or receives more likes and engagement. It is easy to fall prey to the numbers game and spend hours comparing yourself but over the past year,  I have found that I gain much more by supporting women. Sometimes this means finding happiness for that friend who is promoted faster, celebrating a friend’s half marathon PR after you have a horrible race or sending a quick note to someone who needs it most.  

NEW Women

Find your support network and nurture it. Over the past year, as I’ve come in contact with women who feel toxic or don’t support other women, I do my best to create a distance. Whether it is unfollowing them on social media, disassociating with them in the workplace or not meeting with them again, I believe that we are responsible for doing our best to surround ourselves with people who inspire and support us. Some people call this their tribe or girl gang. Whatever the word, find the network of women who uplift you most. I am so thankful to have seven women, whom I call mentors or friends, within my company that inspire me on a daily basis. These women have advocated on my behalf, helped me navigate through office politics and been there to high five and celebrate the wins over the years. Though they live across the country, they have proven multiple times that they are just a phone call, email or text message away. Depending on the size of your company or office, it may be difficult to find many women but even one can make a difference. Once you find them, make sure to nurture the relationship by ensuring it is a two-way street.  In my personal life,  I have realized that my friend groups and circles have evolved over the years due in part to our time abroad as well as changing life stages. While giving my friend addresses for baby shower invites, I realized that there are women in my life now that have made a huge impact in a short time while others have unfortunately fallen out of the circle. While I don’t harbor negative feelings towards those that I’m no longer close with, I have made a conscious effort to nurture the friendships that are most important to me at this point in my life. This year that has meant traveling to Iowa to see dear college friends, connecting via email, phone, and text with friends who aren’t local and continuing to be the organizer and planner for those that live in New York City.

Remember that your actions speak louder than words. While it is wonderful to advocate for women in ways that are personally meaningful to you, remember that it is not what you write on a Facebook post or piece of paper that speaks the loudest. Instead, it is the way you carry yourself and serve as a role model 365 days a year.  Wherever you are, there is someone watching you and she could be an easily influenced teenager or a lost 30-year-old. Just because something isn’t shared on social media doesn’t mean it didn’t happen or come out of your mouth. Let us learn from example and choose our words and actions wisely.

I only hope that my daughter has the opportunity to see and experience the world from a similar vantage point that I did. Realizing from an early age that thanks to the support and hard work by the women who came before her, she can enjoy the right to vote, freedom to choose and equal opportunity school and workplace that allows her to thrive and grow.

I would love to hear your thoughts in honor of International Women’s Day. How do you show your support?

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