I’ve drafted three different posts over the past week to talk about my running emotions. Each time I’ve made it about half way through the draft and then closed my computer out of frustration. I found that each post was filled with negative thoughts and energy, something I never want to pass on to my readers. It’s one things to share my emotions, whether they are positive or negative, but it’s another to pass on an unproductive, negative energy.
Instead of publishing or finishing these posts I spent my time talking with people instead. During our run on Saturday I voiced my marathon concerns to Bo. Via email I’ve talked with Theodora, Melissa Z and Gia about the negative mind games and frustrations I’m feeling and experiencing recently. Each person shared a different perspective with me which I feel has left me in a far different position and mindset today than I was just a few days ago.
Let me briefly summarize for you the thoughts I shared with each of these women.
- Over the past 3 weeks any run beyond four miles has felt like work.
- Running alone is not fun, regardless how gorgeous the scenery is.
- My body, primarily back and shoulders, are very sore due to my temporary bed in Geneva. The mattress is the hardest and most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever laid on for an extended period of time.
- I haven’t run further than 9 miles in more than a month.
- My marathon is 10 weeks and 4 days from today.
Last week was the worst week of training I’ve experienced mentally in years. Every run felt like work. My back and shoulders were in so much pain that it hurt to run even five miles.
Instead of enjoying the gorgeous sunrise, cool temperatures and beautiful scenery my mind filled with doubt and anxiety during each run. I would spend almost the entire run calculating the number of weeks until my marathon and trying to figure out whether going from 8 miles to 26 was even possible.
I drafted an email to my best friend Amy, who is running the marathon with me as her first, explaining that I needed to drop down to the half marathon. I thought about the post I would write to share the news with readers.
Then, during our run together on Saturday, Bo provided me with some much needed advice that changed things.
Give my body and mind two weeks of positive thoughts, nutrition, sleep, support, and workouts before making a marathon decision.
I immediately asked Gia to review my training and put together a plan for the week. Bo and I spent time dreaming of great long run routes for this week’s long run in London. I made a new playlist filled with a variety of music. I downloaded some Jillian Michael podcasts based on recommendations from Theodora and Melissa Z. I spent time thinking about what I loved most about running in New York City. Last but not least, I found another Geneva running buddy. As if someone was listening to all my fears, a fellow runner moved to Geneva on Friday and emailed me to see if I’d be interested in running together. She went to high school with Meghann’s husband and this morning we enjoyed a great run together, talking the entire time. Wouldn’t you know that these were the easiest 4.75 miles I’ve run in 3 weeks. Our pace was right on target and I even pushed myself all the way up the final hill towards my flat.
Sometimes, all that is needed is a change of attitude. I’ll check in after my long run this week to let you all know how things are going and whether the change in attitude and getting out of my own head helps.
YOU CAN DO IT! Whatever you set your mind to, you can do it! If it’s the full marathon, your body will take you there. I’ll be thinking of you!!! Miss our runs!
So true! Positive thoughts carry you through the marathon and attitude is key. You’ve got this!
What’s so wrong with not running a marathon every year? I’m all for pushing my body, but am also of the mindset that it deserves a break every now and then. I’m just wondering what the rewards are for running another marathon?
I really want to give you a big hug. I’m glad you have Bo to talk through the struggles. I think he’s right that you shouldn’t throw in the towel too quickly. I’m also glad you found a running partner, I think that will really help you get through the tough parts. I think you have plenty of time to work on kicking out the negativity and make the training fun again!
You can do it! Just keep up the positive vibes. This is all a huge adjustment and I’m guessing it is to be expected that things will feel a little off to start. But you’ve got this! <3 Hope you don't have to suffer on that bed for too long! xo
You have had such a huge change in the past few weeks. It makes total sense that you’d be having these feelings and emotions. Bo is totally spot on, you need to just let yourself get back in your usual routine and back into the swing of things, take some pressure off yourself and it will all come back to you.
You can do it!!
Thanks Fizz! I’m lucky to have him and his steady, calm mind right now!
Its great you have fantastic people in your life you can talk to. I find that I tend to go downhill if I don’t sleep well or properly. Hang in there, it’s been a time of heaps of change for you so just give yourself some space to work it all out.
Thanks Jodi! You’re right!
This post could not be more fitting…I moved to Denver last year, and I thought it was going to be a BREEZE to find people who share my love for running and healthy living. Almost a year later, I just had a very teary conversation with my fiance about how I feel so alienated by my love for running and being healthy. I struggle with that because it is something I am SO passionate about and really miss sharing with people. Needless to say, I can relate, and hope I, too, find some people. If you did in Geneva, I should be able to in Denver, right? 😉
thanks for making a tough topic relatable, and somehow uplifting 🙂
Ashley I’m sorry to hear you’re having a hard time but glad this post helped! We will get through it 🙂
Have you reached out to other healthy living bloggers in that area?
I have a hard time running more than 4-6 miles by myself so I can completely understand how much you’d be dreading this training cycle. So glad you’ve found a run buddy there!!!
Thanks Jen! Where there’s a will there’s a way! 🙂
Punkin. I just want you to know that the symptoms sound very familiar….they call it HUMAN…yes honey I hate to tell you…you are human! I can remember when you could not run around the parking lot at West Wind…Independent of what you think…it is totally normal to have ups and downs! You have been pulled up by your roots…now plant your self again…need some fertilizer? Baby you have it …they are called friends and family…WE all love you ! Remember the signs I used to make on your forehead…they work.
Wise man here….what a great Dad!!!
Great post & just what I needed. My marathon is in 12 weeks and I am having trouble getting going too. Like you, I am feeling that every run that should be easy is like climbing a mountain. I love the advice of giving myself 2 weeks of positivity & giving myself and my body every chance to feel better.
Delighted you have found a running buddy!
Thank you for writing down just what I am feeling!
I love this post! What I love even more is your day’s comment, which made me ready. It sounds like you have amazing support from around the globe. Keep up with the positive thoughts and your training will fall in line. Great job!
ahhh sleep, it’s the one factor we understand is important but tend to skim over when it’s not going well. I love that you are so thoughtful about what you share and why!!
Good luck and I hope it turns around!
Thanks Amanda! Yes my goal this week before my long run is two nights of solid sleep! 🙂